All posts by lauredhel

About lauredhel

Lauredhel is an Australian woman with a disability.

Recommended Reading for February 25th

Warning: Offsite links are not safe spaces. Articles and comments in the links may contain ableist, sexist, and other -ist language and ideas of varying intensity. Opinions expressed in the articles may not reflect the opinions held by the compiler of the post. I attempt to provide extra warnings for material like extreme violence/rape; however, your triggers/issues may vary, so please read with care.

Andrea Fay Friedman

NYT Arts Beat: ‘Family Guy’ Voice Actor Says Palin ‘Does Not Have a Sense of Humor’

Image: Andrea Fay Friedman, who has Down syndrome, was a voice actor in a recent episode of “Family Guy” criticized by Sarah Palin.

One person who supports the “Family Guy” staff is Andrea Fay Friedman, the 39-year-old actor and public speaker who played Ellen in that episode. Like the character, Ms. Friedman also has Down syndrome.

In an e-mail message sent on Thursday to The New York Times, Ms. Friedman wrote:

” I guess former Governor Palin does not have a sense of humor. I thought the line “I am the daughter of the former governor of Alaska” was very funny. I think the word is “sarcasm.””

ninjanurse at Kmareka.com: Talking Back to Sarah Palin

You may agree with her or not, but it’s good to remember that people with Down Syndrome are not God’s innocent angels sent here to teach us something about life, but actual people who have their own lives to live. Trig Palin will grow up, and I hope he will have a good life. Sarah Palin better hope she doesn’t pick up the NYT some day and see a best-seller called, ‘Drafted–My Life on the Campaign Trail When Mommy Went Rogue’, or ‘Going Rough–Missed Naps and Noisy Crowds in Days that Made History’. At least it’s not ‘Vice-President, Dearest’ –not yet.

Ally G. at The disABILITY Enlightenment Project: disABILITY Simulations

I know I came out of that exercise feeling frustrated and discombobulated. Also oftentimes people will come out of those simulation activities thinking to themselves “gosh, I’m glad I am not stuck in a wheelchair all day” or “I feel sorry for people who are blind.”

Feelings of pity or “glad that’s not me…” are not the aim of disability rights advocates.

Marie Claire/Yahoo!7: The Battle for Care that’s Pulling Families Apart

When news broke that Australia’s only boarding school for disabled kids was set to close, it exposed once more the heartbreaking lack of support for their families. […]

The issue made headlines last November, when reports surfaced that Kingsdene Special School in NSW – the only weekday boarding school for sev-erely disabled children in Australia – may close due to the charity Anglicare having to withdraw financial support. Parents expressed their fear that if the school shuts, they may have to make the same heart-rending decision as Anita to abandon their child to DoCS.

New York Times: Countless Lost Limbs Alter Life in Haiti’s Ruins

More than a month after the earthquake, thousands of new amputees are facing the stark reality of living with disabilities in a shattered country whose terrain and culture have never been hospitable to the disabled.

Some remain in hospital tents swarming with flies; others have moved to makeshift post-surgical centers; and those who healed quickly, like Ms. Jean, have been discharged to the streets, where they now live. All need continuing care in a nation with no rehabilitation hospital, few physical therapists, no central prosthesis factory since the quake and a skeletal supply of crutches, canes and wheelchairs gradually being reinforced by donations.

“The situation for newly disabled persons is very delicate,” said Michel Péan, Haiti’s secretary of state for the integration of the disabled. “They urgently need not only medical care but food and a place to live. Also, we cannot forget those disabled before the disaster who, because of their handicap, are having trouble getting access to humanitarian aid.

Ewa Hess, Hennric Jokeit at Eurozine: Neurocapitalism [Perhaps we need a new warning category for “obfuscation”… ~L.]

It may seem uncanny just how closely the narrow path to scientific supremacy over the brain runs to the broad highway along which capitalism has been speeding for over 150 years. The relationship remains dynamic, yet what links capitalism with neuroscience is not so much strict regulation as a complex syndrome of systemic flaws.

Recommended Reading for February 24th

Warning: Offsite links are not safe spaces. Articles and comments in the links may contain ableist, sexist, and other -ist language and ideas of varying intensity. Opinions expressed in the articles may not reflect the opinions held by the compiler of the post. I attempt to provide extra warnings for material like extreme violence/rape; however, your triggers/issues may vary, so please read with care.

Mark Bekir in a First Flight Crew T-shirt

Image: Marky Mark (Mark Bekir) in a black First Flight Crew T-shirt.

accessibleARTS: First Flight Crew breaking into the scene:

The eight piece hip hop crew from all over Sydney is managed by Accessible Arts’ Creative Programs Coordinator, Alison Richardson and was formed in 2009 as a result of a series of workshops with Victorian based music organisation Club Wild, further development with Powerhouse Youth Theatre and all under the guidance of hip hop artist, Morganics.

Wheelchair Dancer: Passing By:

At the studio where I take classes when I am in NYC, the elevator isn’t ADA accessible: it’s painfully small. So small that there is always a line, well, a press of people waiting to go upstairs. It continues to amaze me that hyperable-bodied dancers who are about to go and dance for hours on end take the elevator. But they do, and so, when I was using my previous (wider) chair, I had to get there even earlier than the rest; I had to stand up, dismantle my chair, limp in, hold the door, drag the pieces in behind me and then reassemble the thing. It’s the sort of disability performance I didn’t want people to see.

staticnonsense: at I Am Not: A Punishment:

I am not a punishment to be bestowed upon anyone, much less my caring and supporting family. I know your beliefs strongly state otherwise, but they do not represent the reality of the situation.

My mother’s medical decisions and past choices are hers. They are not anyone else’s business. It is not our place to judge her for her decisions, especially when one does not know or one doesn’t need to know the reason why. No matter her decisions in the past, she is an infinitely caring person that has been behind me every step of the way through the trials and tribulations of my life.

IP at Modus Dopens: Why separate resources ain’t good enough:

There’s a pervasive myth that annoys the hell out of me, and I hope you’ll excuse me while I get it out of my system: it’s the idea that it’s ok for an institution to put in new inaccessible facilities as long as it also has some accessible ones elsewhere.

Really, no.

Why why why do we have to have one set of facilities for the “normals” and another set for the “freak show”? It’s humiliating, and it’s not even useful. If you’re putting in a facility from scratch, it’s often the case that you can put in something accessible for the same cost as something inaccessible. So it’s not even easier to put in two sets of facilities rather than just the one. This is just another way that we center the experiences of currently non-disabled people

PS News: Red tape cut enables disabled veterans:

Ex-Service personnel with disabilities who access income support are to be spared medical reviews at Centrelink for their Disability Support Pensions. […] Mr Griffin said TPI pensioners currently had to endure repeated Job Capacity Assessments to keep their Disability Support Pensions.
He said these assessments were “unnecessary”, as the veterans had already been through a rigorous assessment process to access DVA benefits.

Brisbane Times: When the ability to act is what counts :

Actors with a disability playing characters with a disability have been particularly prominent in Australian films this year, including Matthew Saville’s feature Noise and Clubland, which stars Brenda Blethyn. […]

Rick Randall, director of The Other Film Festival, Melbourne’s trail-blazing festival of “New cinema by, with and about people with a disability”, says roles remain few and far between in Australia. “There are a few films with minor roles played by people with disabilities, but there’s still a long way to go. The major problem, though, is that we’ve got a shrinking film industry so it’s really hard for new players to get a foothold.”

Young agrees, adding that it’s vital that disabled people are making the work as well as starring in other people’s. “When we write about our own experience, we bring something to it that non-disabled people rarely manage to capture,” she says.

New York Times: Doing an About-Face on ‘Overmedicated’ Children :

[Judith Warner] sallied forth to interview all the pushy parents, irresponsible doctors and overmedicated children she could find — and lo, she could barely find any. After several years of dead ends, missed deadlines and worried soul-searching, she was forced to reconsider her premise and start all over again.

“We’ve Got Issues” is the product of that unusual cycle. Journalists who cobble together enough anecdotes to support a preset agenda are all too common, and presumably Ms. Warner could have managed to do just that. Instead, she actually let her research guide her thoughts.

Parking spaces – Daily Mail Fail

The Daily Fail has a little maths problem. OK, they have a little everything problem, but in this particular case, well, you be the judge: Revealed: Why all those disabled bays stay empty

Hundreds of thousands of prime parking spaces in shopping centres are unused because of a legal obligation to provide four times as many disabled bays than are actually needed.

Supermarkets, shopping centres and leisure centres must allocate up to 6 per cent of their parking bays for disabled badge holders – even though just 1.4 per cent of the population is registered disabled*. […]

Campaigners are furious at the number of vacant disabled bays and believe more should be done to tilt the balance in favour of drivers with young children.

OK, so let’s do the math. On a small scale, anyhow. My family is 33.3% disabled. When we go out together, we need accessible parking 100% of the time. Oh, and we’re one of those mythical families, Daily Mail writers, that includes both a PWD and a young child. I know you think we don’t exist. But we’re right here.

Extrapolate up through the population, and suddenly those 6% figures (which only apply to small lots in the UK – large lots only need 4%) don’t look so excessive, do they?

Here’s another thing: When nondisabled people can’t find a space close by, they park further away and walk. When a disabled person can’t find an accessible space, she turns around and goes home. If the math doesn’t convince you, the social justice should.

In Australia? Only 1-2% – ONE to TWO PERCENT – of spaces are required to be accessible. 4% of Australians require accessible parking (do the math – this means that more than 4% of vehicles may contain a PWD who needs the accessibility), and that number is rising. AFDO recommends that a ratio of 10% may be more appropriate.

Many small businesses, including medical clinics, have no accessible parking at all. Many designated marked spaces do not meet standards and may not be accessible for all PWD – not wide enough, heavily sloping, blocked or non-existent access lanes and kerb cuts, further away from entrances than the “non-accessible” spots (I’m looking at you, IKEA), and so on.

“Cracking down” on parking permit abuse makes currently-nondisabled folks feel righteous, but it doesn’t do the job. We need more spaces, and we need compliant spaces.

*I’m assuming the 1.4% applies to those with blue badges in the UK, since around 20% of the population actually has a disability.

Recommended Reading for February 23rd

Warning: Offsite links are not safe spaces. Articles and comments in the links may contain ableist, sexist, and other -ist language and ideas of varying intensity. Opinions expressed in the articles may not reflect the opinions held by the compiler of the post. I attempt to provide extra warnings for material like extreme violence/rape; however, your triggers/issues may vary, so please read with care.

fearnleyCowra Guardian: Fearnley nominated for world sports award:

Former Charles Sturt University student Kurt Fearnley has again been recognised as one of the world’s greatest athletes by being nominated for a prestigious Laureus World Sports Award. […] Fearnley received his first nomination for the Laureus World Sportsperson of the Year with a Disability Award in 2007 but was beaten for the title by German skier Martin Braxenthaler. This year Fearnley will be joined by the captain of the Australian men’s Wheelchair Basketball team Justin Eveson in the race for the title.

frolicnaked at RH Reality Check: Endometriosis and “Why Don’t You Just…?”

Today, a close friend asked me how I was feeling, to which I said, “It’s bad enough to need the Percocet today.” I suppose her response shouldn’t have shocked me, but it did. “How can you work when you’re on those drugs?”

From there, I made the mistake of: a) continuing the conversation, and b) saying what I actually thought. “Isn’t the better question, ‘How do you work with debilitating pain?'” Because while I lament that I’m not necessarily more functional on narcotics than in 10+ pain, I know damn well that I’m not less. And you know, a lot of people I know don’t seem to register that, but they’re quite happy to share their opinions about what they think I shouldn’t be doing.

Brie at Feminists with Female Sexual Dysfunction: Guest Post – On the social construction of sex

There have been small steps taken to change the assumption that all women have the same sex life. But they are small steps. Whenever I talk to a friend about my sex-life or lack-there-of they are confused and don’t really understand. We have short 20 minute specials in the middle of the day, or on newscasts that only a select few are made aware of. Half of the specials that I have seen in the last few months I only knew about because the National Vulvodynia Association emailed me about them. And any attempt by network shows to highlight these problems, while appreciated, never quite get it right. ABC has tried, on a few occasions, to show women dealing with sexual dysfunction but the diagnosis and treatment happen so quickly it paints a false picture of the realities of the condition. We can’t expect miracles overnight I guess.

Philosopher Crip: Crip Conversations: When Activism and Scholarship Converge:

The following is an interview I conducted with my good friend, Bethany, who recently launched the blog CripConfessions.com.[…]

Bethany: CripConfeesions fits into my overall work because I am devoted to raising awareness and creating social change for disabled people. Through blog posting, I hope to add to my other work by providing a personal glimpse into my nuanced reality. I want more people to understand that disability is not a personal tragedy, but is an artful way of being. Of course, as a sexologist, I also want people to see disabled people as desirable and viable sexual/love partners so I hope some of my posts make some people realize how deliciously sexy disabled people are. CripConfessions then is just one part of the overall revolution of consciousness I seek to be a part of.

Miss Banshee: Defining Disability:

So why do I feel shame at saying I get that government check every month?

I guess it all has to do with how you see, or don’t see, disability. You can’t see my sickness. I can walk, and talk, and smile, and PRETEND everything is fine, and I do. You never SEE that I have a chronic illness. It’s all safely tucked away in my head, and I’ve spent the vast majority of my life seeing that it stays there, away from the world, my filthy, dirty secret. That I have a chronic, lifelong mental illness.

The Age: Family fought immigration laws for daughter

Australian migration laws tried to keep out a budding gymnast who delivers meals for charity. Cailan Ford-Weinberg was four when her Down syndrome was determined to be too heavy a cost on the healthcare system for her family to move from Britain, an inquiry into the migration treatment of disability heard.

After a lengthy $5500 appeal, the 15-year-old now has a shot at representing Australia at the Special Olympics and is well recognised in her community of Upper Ferntree Gully for volunteering with Meals on Wheels. […]

Disability Discrimination Commissioner Graeme Innes said the laws were outmoded. ”They make crude guesses and the assumptions they make about people with disabilities are only negative,” he said.

The perfect trifecta. And by “perfect”, I mean…

Sometimes, I’m almost tempted to believe there’s a special, special place in hell for people like US Republican State Delegate Bob Marshall of Manassas who says:

Disabled children are God’s punishment to women who have aborted their first pregnancy.

Yes, I’ll play that again.

Disabled children are God’s punishment to women who have aborted their first pregnancy.

Whatever happened to the “gift from God” inspirational-crip rhetoric?

And he didn’t shut up there. There’s more.

The number of children who are born subsequent to a first abortion with handicaps has increased dramatically. Why? Because when you abort the first born of any, nature takes its vengeance on the subsequent children.

He and others at the meeting suggest that Planned Parenthood should be renamed “Planned Barrenhood” or “Klan Parenthood”.

I do believe we have a perfect trifecta of menacing misogyny, violent disability hate, and misappropriating the civil rights movement for your bigoted cause. With a side serve of colossal, irredeemable scientific ignorance. And fail sauce.

Come filk with us – “Special Treatment” for PWD

Paul Kelly, if you’re not familiar with him, is a bloody marvellous Australian singer-songwriter. Some consider him the “poet laureate of Australian music”. He writes everything from fun-but-pointy ballads – Every Fucking City is one of my favourite anti-hero pieces – to political protest music.

You can read a little about him here at Debbie Kruger’s:

But there are songs that have specific intent – the ones for which he is known as “political commentator.” Songs such as “From Little Things Big Things Grow,” which he wrote with Kev Carmody about Aboriginal Land Rights, “Treaty” with Yothu Yindi on Land Rights and Reconciliation and “Little Kings,” from a more recent album Words and Music, about dissatisfaction with the Government. “Those songs are the exceptions,” Kelly concedes. “’Special Treatment’ is another one like that, a specific situation and write to it.”

Check out the song:

Lyrics are here. For those who can’t access the Youtube, it’s performed in a folky acoustic-guitar sort of way.

“Special Treatment” is a great example, in my opinion, of a piece of protest music written in first-person, using the point of view of members of a marginalised group of which the singer is not a member (I think, and please correct me if I’m wrong). Kelly is deeply respectful of the history, takes his subject seriously while introducing elements of dry humour, and has collaborated extensively with artists in the group in question. The piece targets authority sharply and with bite; its impact does not on stereotypes, mocking, fetishisation, or Othering of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people.

I’m acutely aware that I run the risk of ‘splaining here, and I suspect that similar grievance-politics dynamics apply elsewhere in the world: but just to dip both toes in and take that risk for a moment: a common complaint among white middle-class Australians (WMCAs) is that Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people in Australia get “special treatment” from government. WMCAs complain when there are funded Aboriginal health services attempting to make tiny inroads into the appalling longevity statistics, the 20-year Gap, the rates of trachoma and hookworm and pneumonia and STDs and nutritional deficiencies. WMCAs complain when there are tutoring and bridging programs assisting Aboriginal people from remote areas to go to university, attempting to address the massive gulf between educational opportunities, entrenched discrimination, and difficulties of transitioning from remote areas to urban universities with a completely different cultural milieu.

WMCAs complain when Aboriginal people who are out of work are offered barely enough support to not starve their families; when there are programs to assist the Aboriginal prisoners who survive prison to transition back to the community; when mental health support programs are offered in an effort to reduce the 8x suicide rate among young Aboriginal people; when STD and contraception services are funded for young Aboriginal women who are raped at extraordinary rates; when funding for domestic violence and violence reduction programs are offered to women who live in fear. All this and more is dismissed as unfair “special treatment”.

In response to a post I wrote responding to a post by CarrieP at Big Fat Blog – in which Carrie wished that fat people were offered the same level of “special treatment” and respect that people with disabilities are – megpie wrote a touching filk to the tune of Kelly’s “Special Treatment”. (OK, verse three is the same – and applies pretty precisely to the situation of forcibly-institutionalised PWD.) Check it out (while listening to the Kelly original, if you can) – and add your own verses in comments.

I can’t enter my child’s classroom
Although the door’s right there
I’m stuck outside my child’s classroom
Blocked by a single stair

I get special treatment
Special treatment
Very special treatment

I’d like to work an eight hour day
In an office on main street
But they won’t offer me the same pay
Or add a ramp my chair needs

Say it’s “special treatment”
Special treatment
Very special treatment

Mother and father loved each other well
But together they could not stay
They were split up against their will
Until their dying day

They got special treatment
Special treatment
Very special treatment

Mama gave birth to a healthy child
A child she called her own
Strangers came and took away that child
To a stranger’s home

She got special treatment
Special treatment
Very special treatment

I’m not allowed to cry out loud
I’m not allowed to scream
I’m not allowed to show my rage
I’m not allowed to dream

After all, I get special treatment
Special treatment
Very special treatment

Recommended Reading for February 22nd

Warning: Offsite links are not safe spaces. Articles and comments in the links may contain ableist, sexist, and other -ist language and ideas of varying intensity. Opinions expressed in the articles may not reflect the opinions held by the compiler of the post. I attempt to provide extra warnings for material like extreme violence/rape; however, your triggers/issues may vary, so please read with care.

sullyfigureTiffiny at Disaboom: Jake Sully wheelchair action figure gets razzed:

And perhaps the most ironic/amusing detail of the wheelchair Jake Sully action figure is it’s ability to stand, including having moveable ankles, hips, and knees. Oh sweet irony indeed!

WHEELIE cATHOLIC: Disability humor: How does it feel to be the only nondisabled person in the room?:

In fact, I’d hate to be a quadriplegic who didn’t have a sense of humor. but it’s a lot different for me to make a joke about my disability than to be turned into a joke by someone else. […] Nondisabled people sometimes say they don’t understand the difference between appropriate and inappropriate disability humor (i.e., jokes that demean, objectify, label and dehumanize people with disabilities). But these nuances aren’t so hard to understand.

laughingrat: Psychology as Social Control, part zillion:

The whole DSM thing is really being discussed right now. Most of the stuff I’ve seen sounds like perfectly legitimate outrage; some of it actually expresses gratitude that certain mental states are being listed, because then, the reasoning goes, insurance companies will actually pay for their treatment. […] Don’t even get me started. Depression and complex PTSD are, as far as the Man is concerned, all in your head. Insurance coverage, my fat crazy ass.

Michael Isam at the Flagler College Gargoyle: Disabled students are invisible to able-bodied students:

Try negotiating those hallways on crutches, using a cane for balance or in a wheelchair.[…] But then there are those absorbed people blocking the entire walkway while they discuss the beautiful sheen to Rodney’s teeth. “Aren’t they just fabulous? You know his parents flew in a specialist from Switzerland just to clean them.” When you attempt to be polite and say “Excuse me”, they just look at you as if you crawled out from under a rock and how dare you interrupt this earth shattering important conversation.

Bob Williams at The Washington Post [Letters]: How to talk about disabilities:

What is glaringly missing from the debate over the epithet “retard” in The Post [” ‘Retard’: The language of bigotry,” op- ed, Feb. 15] is the voice of anyone with a disability who spent a lifetime enduring such garbage.

NewsMail: Disabled swing burnt in attack

The $25,000 Liberty Swing, designed for wheelchair users, was burned overnight on Wednesday in what Bundaberg Regional councillor Mary Wilkinson said was a “senseless act of vandalism”.

“We’re just shocked and shattered about the whole thing,” Cr Wilkinson said. “That swing was provided after an enormous amount of effort and donations by the community and Variety Queensland.”

Chatterday! Open Thread.

This is our weekly Chatterday! open thread. Use this open thread to talk amongst yourselves: feel free to share a link, have a vent, or spread some joy.

What have you been reading or watching lately (remembering spoiler warnings)? What are you proud of this week? What’s made your teeth itch? What’s going on in your part of the world?

Today’s chatterday backcloth comes via whooz_queen on flickr. This wee baby elephant, who is yet to be named, was born at the Melbourne Zoo last month. More pictures and video at The Age.

baby elephant

Recommended Reading for February 19th

Warning: Offsite links are not safe spaces. Articles and comments in the links may contain ableist, sexist, and other -ist language and ideas of varying intensity. Opinions expressed in the articles may not reflect the opinions held by the compiler of the post. I attempt to provide extra warnings for material like extreme violence/rape; however, your triggers/issues may vary, so please read with care.

Oddly Specific: Note the Braille

sign with Braille warning not to go near door

Description: A closeup of a black sign on a wooden door reading, in Roman orthographics, “Caution. This door opens outwards. Please do not stand directly in front of the doors.” Beneath that is Braille text, presumably for the same message.

rachelmanija at The Neon Season: A User’s Guide to PTSD, Part IV: Postscript [WARNING: mentions child abuse, suicide, domestic violence, PTSD]

Two years ago I wrote a set of posts called “A User’s Guide to PTSD.” They attracted a lot of attention, and several people friended this LJ in the hope that I would write more in the same vein. I pointed out that I write about mental illness approximately once every two years, so it could be a long wait. If any of them are still reading, I hope they enjoy this follow-up. If you missed the first set, I’ve linked them below.

ABC News: Conjoined Twins, Together Forever

At the age of 45, the Schappell sisters are believed to be among the oldest living conjoined twins in the world. If one died before the other, they say, the survivor would choose separation- but only under that circumstance.[…]

The example they’ve set with their lives has influenced how some experts think about a decision many take for granted: that conjoined twins should be separated if possible.

MSNBC: Disability-free world may not be a better place

As some families with a Down syndrome child have noted, fewer kids with Down may mean fewer public programs, fewer resources in schools and for housing and less political clout. If some genetic diseases begin to fade away, will society’s willingness to provide support for the diminishing numbers of those born with such diseases fade as well? And are we headed to a time when parents who choose not to be genetically tested find themselves condemned as morally irresponsible parents?

The Washington Post: Va. families fear more cuts to services for the disabled

Proposed cuts to Virginia’s Medicaid program could make that waiting list even longer, Wooten said. The waivers fund a variety of services that help people with disabilities continue to live in the community, such as supported employment, companion services and nursing care, Wooten said.

With the support they receive through the school system, the Mays said they are able to care for their son without state aid. Sam May attends the Davis Career Center at Marshall High School, where he learns life and career skills and is able to work in a company’s mailroom.

If her son cannot get state-funded services when he graduates, Kathy May said she is not sure what the family will do. She and her husband work full time, so one of them likely would have to quit to care for him. Without two incomes, they probably would have to sell their home and move, she said.

For Cereal, Jessica at Jezebel? PTSD after obstetric assault is “hysterical”?

[WARNING: descriptions of obstetric rape and PTSD]

At Jezebel, Jessica writes: Is Having A Baby A Traumatic Event?

A new survey says that 9% of postpartum women suffer from post traumatic stress disorder. You know, the same disorder that Iraq vets and plane crash survivors get. Something does not compute here,[…]

Have we become so precious and hyper-conscious that something women have been doing for time immemorial is now ranked alongside war as a painful event?[…]

Certainly, having a bowling ball of a baby shooting out your vag isn’t a picnic for anyone, but the hysteria surrounding something so matter-of-fact is troubling.

“Hysteria”. Yes, “hysteria”. She went there. She used the prime misogynist slam against women, blaming wandering uteruses. Unbefuckingllievable.

I’m only surprised there wasn’t a “princess” or a “delicate flower” thrown in there too. Or maybe a few accusations of insurance fraud, hm? That would just put the icing on the hateful cake.

Get back to me when you’ve been stripped, dehumanised, isolated, forcibly starved, and strapped to a table for 12 or more hours during the hardest work of your life. Get back to me when you’ve been subjected to a series of non-emergency procedures on your body with neither consent nor medical justification. Get back to me when you’ve been imprisoned in hospital.

Get back to me when you’ve been held down by two or three people while someone – or more than one someone – pushes their fingers into your vagina while you say “No”. Get back to me when you’ve been screaming “NOOOO! STOP!!!” and been ignored while someone cuts your body open and shoves metal forceps into you. Get back to me when you’ve been strapped to a table and operated on and had your protestations about the anaesthetic not working being ignored. Get back to me when you’re left bleeding and vomiting on a table, without access to help, wondering if you’re bleeding to death, and you’ve had your newborn baby taken away from you without explanation or good reason except an over-the-shoulder “we don’t have enough staff right now”.

Get back to me when you’ve spent months of your life – the months you thought would be a joyful, perhaps sleep-deprived, milky daze – having violent flashbacks and nightmares. Shambling through the day barely able to function, unable to bond with your newborn. Bursting into tears and panic attacks many times a day. Avoiding public places lest you suddenly start sobbing and need to run. Not able to have anyone touch you.

Get back to me when you’re hunched in a corner, unable to work, unable to care for yourself, unable to speak, and all anyone can say to you is “All that matters is a live baby”.

I hope you never experience these things. Because they can be horrifying, life-changing, deeply traumatic events. The only promise I can make you is that I won’t call you “precious” or “hysterical” if you’re ever in this terrible position.

Medical assault is assault. Obstetric rape is rape. Trauma is trauma. Some people who have experienced these things get PTSD.

And it’s not up to you, or anyone else, to instruct them that they haven’t – especially in explicitly woman-hating terms.

You don’t get to judge.

No, no, no, no, no.