All posts by Chally

About Chally

Chally is the world's scariest feminist. She has a certain fondness for Doctor Who, cake, all things theatrical and making the world a better place. You can also find her at Zero at the Bone and Feministe.

Quoted: Rosemarie Garland-Thomson on staring

Quotations

The first element in the staring process is for the staree to develop a keen sense of being scrutinized. This anticipation and preparedness arms the staree with the proper relational tools to manage expected staring encounters with great effectiveness. The second element in this process is to decide how to oversee the dynamics of the stare itself when it inevitably comes one’s way. If one looks directly at starers, it will only confuse or embarrass them. The staree must assess the precise attitude of the starer, measuring intentions and attitudes so as to respond in the most effective way. Facilitating your starers’ maintenance of face means relieving them of anxiety, understanding their motivations, and working with them to overcome their limited understanding of human variation and their social awkwardness at facing it. The third element is literally manipulating the eyes of the starer. One evaluates when to turn away, stare back, or further extend the stare. Sometimes it is best to allow the staring to go on in order for the starer to get a good look. Another procedure is to use eye contact and body language to terminate the stare as soon as possible, although this risks being interpreted as hostile. Another option is to redirect the stare. For example, some starees report using their own eyes to guide the starer’s immobilized eyes away from the part of their body that has captured the gaze, subtly rescuing the hapless viewer from the embarrassment of the stuck stare and restoring the ritual of casual face-to-face encounters. Finally, the staree can and often must enlist conversation to direct the staring process. Staring has an inherent narrative component that the staree must always address in some way.

Rosemarie Garland-Thomson on page 180 of “Ways of Staring” Journal of Visual Culture 5.2 (2006): 173-192.

I so like this redirecting of power in the staring relationship. Do go read the whole article if you can. Also, some of you might be interested in a video I posted on Feministe recently in which Garland-Thomson (a feminist disability scholar!) talks about her work around staring.

Question Time: Intersections

intersectionality, Question Time, social attitudes,

Question Time is a series in which we open up the floor to you, commenters. We invite you to share as you feel comfortable.

How does ableism intersect with any other oppressions you experience? We’ve covered gender in the past, and now I’m wondering how disability interacts with other issues in your life. For example, maybe people think your queerness is fake because you’ve a mental illness. What can you think of?

Only you know your own experience

bad advice, medical practice,

A few days ago, I had a conversation with a medical professional that went something like this:

MP: So you’ve been feeling tired?
Chally: Yes, not as tired as I have been, but still pretty tired. I’ve been waking up at 5am[1. As I’m writing this, my body has happily decided to switch to 7-7.30am. Which is both good and ?!?!]. Not this weekend though.
MP: Why? Are you depressed?
C: No, I’m not. I’m not sure why that keeps happening.
MP: You don’t seem like you’re depressed. So do you have recurring thoughts when you wake up?
C: No. I just wake up, then I log on to the computer and check my emails to see what came in overnight. Do you think it could be the sunlight waking me up?
MP: No, the sun isn’t up that early. Do you have to check your emails?
C: No, I just do. I don’t want to leave the room and wake the household, so I just stay there and check my emails.
MP: So is it a compulsion?
C: No, I don’t have to check my emails, I just do it because I want to and that’s what’s there to do. It’s not a compulsion.
MP: Do you wash your hands a lot? Do you have lots of recurring thoughts?
C: No. I don’t have any symptoms of OCD.

That last moved the conversation on quickly.

I’m telling you this story so you know something very important. Medical professionals are people, with their own biases and experiences. Sometimes they will make mistakes and the wrong judgments. They will try to fit you into convenient boxes, tell you things about yourself that just aren’t true. Your trust isn’t always well placed when placed in authority. Remember that doctors aren’t the sole arbiters of experience. At the end of the day, only you know what’s going on for you; your experience of what you’re going through is valid.

Some snappy answers for your stockpile

activism, ,

Following on from Amusing Answers to Clueless Questions. For when you get sick of answering the same questions over and over.

Q: How are you?
A: Well, I was born and I continue to exist. That’s how I am. What kind of a question is that?

Q: Can I try out your assistive device?
A: Sure, if you want the disability that comes with it.

Q: If you could have just one day of not being disabled, what would you do?
A: If you could have just one day of not being incredibly rude, what would you do with all the spare time?

Q: So what do you do all day then?
A: Be amazing.

Q: How does being disabled feel?
A1: Like pudding.
A2: How does it not feel?
A3: How does being abled feel?

Question Time: Three Words

Question Time

Question Time is a series in which we open up the floor to you, commenters. We invite you to share as you feel comfortable.

What are three words (or phrases) you would use to describe your experience of disability? It can be with regard to what goes on inside you, or responding to other people’s reactions, or whatever you like. (You can explain what each of the three things refers to if you want!)

Question Time: Disability Quotes

Question Time

Question Time is a series in which we open up the floor to you, commenters. We invite you to share as you feel comfortable.

What’s your favourite disability-related quote? It can be about a particular experience of being disabled, something you keep being reminded of in life, a saying that gets you through tough times, given by a famous disabled person or a little obscure, anything along those lines.

Question Time: Disability and the New Year

Question Time

Question Time is a series in which we open up the floor to you, commenters. We invite you to share as you feel comfortable.

Well, it’s Gregorian New Year today, and I wish you a very happy new year if you use that calendar system, and a very happy next twelve months in any case!

This year, as in every year, disabled people are going to be having a tough time of things. So, in what respects would you like society to improve its treatment of PWD this year? What concrete things would you like to be done? What nebulous dreams fulfilled?

(Alternatively, as I put it when I threw the idea for this post out to meloukhia: ‘like, what are your wishes for society to improve stuff for PWD this year or something’. Sophistication: I have it.)