[Scene opens with a loooooooong wait in the pharmacy before my number finally “pings” on the digital number-pinging thingy, as I struggle out of my chair, and hobble up to the pharmacist’s window, and hook my cane on the window ledge for emphasis as I hand over my ID and number slip, wincing in the fluorescent lighting on the other side.]
Army Medic Pharmacist: One moment.
Me: No problem, Specialist. (I am well aware that two of my three expected prescriptions require me to wait as they are counted, twice, some other fun stuff, though I no longer have to run around to get them, and have to be signed for, so I amuse myself by reading the literature he hasn’t bothered to hand me yet.)
[AMP returns with the Civilian Pharmacist]
Civilian Pharmacist: You have taken pregabalin with topamax before?
CP: What about this antacid?
Me: No. But I assume it is the same as my previous one.
[I sign for one med. CP hands me two bottles.]
Me: There should be a third script.
CP: No, only the two.
Me: There should have been a vicodin script as well.
[CP raises her eyebrows at me]
CP: You are on pregabalin.
CP: That is a time released pain medication.
Me: Yes ma’am.
CP: You don’t need vicodin with a time released pain medication.
Me: With all due respect, ma’am, I usually have both.
CP: Well, there isn’t a script for it, and I don’t think you need it.
Me: Well, ma’am, there should have been one, and I am going to ask you to call my provider about it.
[Staring contest ensues between Me and CP. I win. CP picks up phone and asks AMP for Dr. Awesome’s number. I can hear Dr. Awesome on the other end apologizing for forgetting the script, that the computer wasn’t working right when I was in her office, which it wasn’t, and that she forgot to put it in before leaving the office, and would put it in the next day she was in.]
CP: Dr. [Awesome] apologizes for your inconvenience. You can pick up the script on Monday.