Question Time: Fantasy Assistive Devices

OK, so we’ve had the “what assistive devices I use” thread. Now it’s time for…

In My Dreams: Assistive Devices I WANT!

Stealing from meloukhia a little, I’d like a self-powered mobile bed-platform-thingo that contains all of my needs at easy reach: my laptop and all peripherals, assortment of pillows, my teetering bookpile, meds, water bottle, glasses and cleaning cloth, TENS, lip balm, moisturiser, and all the other necessities of life. And I want it to be able to move around corridors, and get outside, and up steps, so I can change scenery whenever I want. And fold down to fit in the car boot. And I want it to be socially acceptable to take it with me and lounge around wherever I go. Oh, and it should fly.

Dream away. Brainstorm. Fantasise. Invent. The sky’s the limit.

[Additional note: Devices, please, commenters. Not servants or slaves or “wives”. Devices.]

63 thoughts on “Question Time: Fantasy Assistive Devices

  1. hah…

    The ideal device to put things into speech for me, like ideal in every way and equally easy to use in whatever state I’m in and lightweight, portable, with a week’s worth of battery life…
    Some weird futuristic device that attaches to my back that is 1) extremely comfortable and 2) would not cause my back muscles to weaken due to not doing anything that would take care of my backpain.
    Some kind of device or medication or whatever that would make me, well, not be constipated so often 😀
    Meds that make me not be afraid 24/7 but with no or very very mild side effects (yeah, you did say fantasy).
    Goggle sunglasses so no light gets in through the edges.
    A car that drives itself so I can use it without needing someone to drive it or be able to drive myself.
    An insurance company that pays for me to have immune therapy for a number of my allergies.
    A ray I can flash at people after which they will automatically ‘get it’
    A mechanical aide instead of a human one that works.
    A robot that could take care of all the housework related stuff and at times possibly also my personal hygiene.

  2. I was thinking about many of the same things Norah already listed, especially the communication device and the anti-anxiety thing. The abdominal relief drug/whatever would also be good, but in my case I don’t know yet what my issues are caused by (IBS or something else), cause I was too afraid to go to the Dr. again after a nurse told me 1 1/2 years ago that it was probably nothing and I shouldn’t make a fuss…finally grabbed the courage to tell my current primary nurse, and Dr.’s appt next week…I’m scared as hell. Speaking of which, I’d like more devices like thermometer/blood pressure measuring thing/etc. that will give you concrete values of your body’s workings so that you’ll know what is normal and what isn’t, because I have a lot of difficulty interpreting my bodily signals. Lastly, I would like something that would lessenmy very frequent sensory/cognitive overload.

    By the way Norah, have you checked out NOiR sunglasses? They have side shields so they will filter as much light on the edges as they do in the center. They come in various shades of darkness, from pretty light to very dark. If you wear regular glasses, there are also models that fit over those.

  3. You know how in the cartoons a person will reach into hir pocket and pull out something enormous, like a car or a house or something?

    I want to reach into my pocket and pull out an insta-chair lift, for going up any set of stairs that I encounter (because elevators are not always available, and they stink besides).

    I love my TENS, but I wish there were electrodes that didn’t rip up the skin on my back (and I’m already using the sensitive skin gel ones).

    I’ve always wished for some sort of air-pillow that instantly adjusts to the height and givingness I need it to be. Not as in an inflatable plastic thing, but like something made completely out of air! Mattress of the same “material” would also be nice.

    Just to start.

  4. Astrid: Ooh, I’ll go check the sunglasses. Though for me the fantasy part of some of the things on the list is more a monetary thing than that they don’t exist.

  5. Oh, how about a magical bra that does exactly what the person needs it to, without chafing, poking, hurting, slipping, or showing? FEMINIST-DISABILITY INTERSECTIONS FOR THE WIN!!

  6. 1. A chair that folds up small enough to fit in my handbag, and is essentially weightless, and is self levelling, so that I can sit down anywhere.
    2. The transporter technology from Star Trek.
    3. A personal forcefield that would zap anyone who wasn’t looking where they were going and were about to bump into me.
    4. An anti-gravity device that would make things jump off the floor and into my hands, and help me lift things that are too heavy.
    5. And this one actually exists – a Roomba or vacuum cleaning robot ( – but I can’t afford it.

    And enough money that I could work part-time, employ a cleaner/homehelp, and still maintain a reasonable standard of living.

  7. A magic chair that is always instantly there under me when I need to sit down suddenly.
    Pain meds that are fully effective.
    Magic pills that put my ADD and depression in check.
    Shoes that don’t make my feet hurt.
    Amandaw’s magical bra.
    VR computing.
    A bed that’s soft enough that I don’t feel bruised if I lie in one position too long.
    Air-conditioned pillows.
    Air-conditioned blankets.
    A wheeled stool with a backrest that’s the perfect height for cooking.
    An alter who enjoys housework. (Hey, I can dream :P)
    A teleporter.
    Magic energy pills. Like how caffeine is supposed to work but completely doesn’t for me.
    My birth control pills without the placebo week.

    Sorry, that got long!
    .-= Shiyiya´s last blog ..Boycott Method =-.

  8. Added to post: “Additional note: Devices, please, commenters. Not servants or slaves or “wives”. Devices.”

    I’m not at all comfortable with the dehumanisation involved in listing humans, even hypothetical humans, as “devices”.

  9. I want a powered exoskeleton that supports me and helps me move. And that I can bolt all kinds of outlandish crap onto. In the rewrite of Metroid Prime in my head, Samus Aran has mobility impairments and the Zero Suit is a standard-model assistive device. The Varia Suit is what it looks like when she’s done modding it so she’s a bad ass super hero. Blam! The Gunship would be nice too since presumably it’s got an autopilot.

    A bathtub big enough that I can fit in it (I’m tall), will keep itself at the temperature I want, and I can breathe in if I fall asleep and slide under the water. TENS patches that don’t zap me and make my skin itch. Three self-cleaning litter boxes. A robotic cataloguing system for books and videos and games and clothes. A kitchen with counters and appliances and sinks at a low enough height that I can sit and work at them.

  10. Oh, K0. Don’s 6’10”-ish. (2.09m) Every Christmas we rent a jacuzzi suite in a hotel – they’re relatively cheap at that time of year, and last year I was working in a hotel so we got a huge discount on top of it – and it’s so obvious how much he relaxes from having the full-body heat. It’s awesome.

  11. I had the opportunity to sit in a jacuzzi once in my lifetime. But there were a bunch of other people clamoring to get in (at a friend’s birthday party, it was one of those fancy pools with a hot tub in a corner) so I just stayed out because I was already so nervous about my body and shaky from swimming and etc.

    Every time we go on vacation (which is 3x, one of those times being the three days we went to CA for our wedding) we look at places w/ hot tubs and jacuzzis but end up picking somewhere else. And I’ve been so so happy with those choices (Phoenix Hotel in DC? ACES. That hole in the wall place in Kitty Hawk? OMG I want to live there full time! Lazy J Motel in Three Rivers, CA? Will always remember that place) but I do sort of miss the opportunity to relax in that full body heated water… I’ve done warm water pool therapy and it’s not the same thing at ALL…

  12. A dual-direction translation device to translate things into/out of neurotypical on the fly for me. That’d be nice. Bonus points if it’ll vocalize for me when I’m having trouble with that.

  13. There are actually motorized wheelchairs that tilt back and recline and put the legs up to be almost like a bed. That’s the kind I use. (It’s also custom-designed to my body so that I don’t fall off the side or pitch forward when I go floppy and my legs and arms don’t splay out from my loose joints and stuff.) But they can be hard to get without insurance. Medicare and Medicaid paid for mine but I had to wait until I’d been in bed for a year before they gave it to me.

    I had a dream once about a toilet for people who had to lie down most of the time, which would be like a large and easily sterilized slab of something, that a person could lie down on, and there was a hole underneath the right area, and then a shield in case urine sprayed the wrong way. And it was self-cleaning and had a bidet option.

    I’ve other times wished for a bed that turned into a toilet.

    A machine that makes food appear.

    A communication device with a sort of dynamic display that I can actually use easily. Meaning one that somehow understands that I can’t switch pages easily (object permanence or something very like it seems to go out the window when I’m concentrating on what to say) and does it for me somehow, maybe telepathically. 😛

    Remote control sink, for giving the cat water when I can’t move far.

    Some sort of thing that eliminates cognitive obstacles in between me and the thing I am trying to get to, so that it doesn’t feel millions of miles away just because it’s through a few doors or involves a few transfers.

  14. Ok, so, definitely a giant bed thing like Lauredhel discussed.

    I feel so guilty for having access to large things filled with warm water all the time. I don’t actually own one, but I have the ability to tub every day, if I wanted to. My absolute favourite is a woodfired hot tub, so I guess I would like one of those which, you know, doesn’t involve burning up trees, and also stays hot all the time. (It takes a few hours to get the water hot once you fire it up.) Seriously, people, if you ever have an opportunity to use a wood fired hot tub…it’s delightful. I always feel like I am being cooked inside a giant cauldron, but in a good way.

    Anyway, my scheme would be to have this delightful thing integrated into my dream bathroom, which also includes a sauna that gets superhot, and a stream running through it so that I can jump from the sauna into the stream (or a snowdrift, a snowdrift would be nice too). Saunas make my body so very happy.

    A teleporter, too, definitely.

    Something which makes phones not necessary, and not a big hassle. I loathe phones and would prefer to communicate entirely through text, if possible.

    A robot chef capable of knowing exactly what I want to eat/can eat, and cooking it for me.

    An invisibility cloak so that I could go into the world but not actually have to interact with people if I don’t want to.

    And a unicorn. I’m not exactly sure that counts as an “assistive device” but, I mean, unicorns.
    .-= meloukhia´s last blog ..Glee: Hairography =-.

  15. Ooh, I want an invisibility cloak. And a little machine that redirects people out of the kitchen when I don’t feel like dealing with humanity but want to eat. And a hat that just takes down the OCD symptoms without side effects.

  16. I’d love a little GPS device with a personal organizer. Something that I can tell “I need to do this when I get to there” and then when I get to there it could tell me to do whatever I need to do. Also, nag me if I leave before doing it.

    For when speaking becomes a chore I’d love a glove that I can gesture in, like those one handed keyboards that accept gestures, and can then basically work like an AAC and produce a synthetic voice.

    A car that can drive itself so that I can get around freely in my less-than-ideally bussed neighbourhood without risking twitching out and crashing the auto.

    A cloaking device so I can become invisible when people decide to stare at me. Or maybe just a superpower that lets me go unseen. I’m supposed to be a supercrip, damnit, where’s my superpower?!

  17. I want these things off Dogged’s list:
    1. A chair that folds up small enough to fit in my handbag, and is essentially weightless, and is self levelling, so that I can sit down anywhere.
    2. The transporter technology from Star Trek.
    3. A personal forcefield that would zap anyone who wasn’t looking where they were going and were about to bump into me.
    4. An anti-gravity device that would make things jump off the floor and into my hands, and help me lift things that are too heavy.

    I’d also like all my books to weigh nothing, yet still be in book form. Four inch thick memory foam on everything I might touch, lay on, sit on, even if I’m out in the world (hello? bus or car seats with cushy memory foam? Awesome!)

    A replicator from Star Trek, so I can just ask for my food and voila! It materializes.
    If I still had to cook, I would like a way for my groceries to be ordered online, and then just materialize in my fridge / freezer / pantry.

    Ditto on the self-cleaning litterboxes! How about the self-scooping backyard for dog owners?

    I’d also like the ray which makes people “get it” without a lot of explanation.

    Forms that automatically fill themselves out at the dr’s office. Or better yet, a mind-meld with the nurse, then Dr., so I don’t have to try and explain everything. So much quicker!

    Trash cans that empty themselves, and the big bins drive themselves to the curb on trash day.

    Beds that make themselves with fresh linens at the push of a button! (changing sheets is a major struggle in my life… yet I love clean sheets).

    I’ll also take a unicorn! 🙂 🙂

  18. Oh, I entirely forgot to list the blindness-related devices I’d want. Give me Samantha’s GPS device please. (By the way, pedestrian GPS devices already exist, but they aren’t yet too good and rather expensive.) I also want a portable computer/organizer/cellphone with a braille display. Ideal if it could be integrated with the GPS device and the communication device. Also, maybe an obstacle signaling device, but I’m not sure about that since I wouldn’t know if I could use it. (The current devices for this purpose use overloading bleeps to warn about obstacles and you can only hear that “something” is in the way within a distance of, say, 8 feet.)

    @ Norah: depending on the color/darkness, the NoIR glasses range in cost from E17.50 to E49.50 (the darkest is the most expensive). You can check them out at Worldwide Vision or Freedom ADL (both are Dutch web shops). Look under “low vision” (they are officially intended for people with vision impairments but might work for you, too).

  19. @Bene

    I wish I could live on a Star Trek ship sometimes… no stairs, turbolifts or wide non-busy well lit hallways to get places, replicators, transporters to get to other ships / planets (none of that rebound pain from the “getting there” part of travelling), hyposprays vs. shots, surgery that seems less invasive, etc.

    I’m watching Star Trek: The Next Generation from Netflix right now with my kids, ages 9 and 12. Every night we watch an episode and I think how awesome some of that technology would be for so many people, including me!

  20. I’d love it if some sort of universal speech-to-text device existed that worked equally well on everyone’s voice with no training needed, and transcribed all sorts of obscure names and jargon correctly.

    And alas, as someone studying natural language processing, I think this is something that will remain in the realm of fantasy for decades…

  21. Would like to point out that the people who are saying servants etc. have clearly not taken “sky’s the limit” to heart. Psssht, who needs carers – ROBOTS, man. That’s where it’s at.

    I want:

    – some kind of device that reads my thoughts to see what I need at the moment, materialises it and puts everything I don’t need at that moment into sci-fi pocket dimension storage. I wouldn’t necessarily need this all the time, but at home? Would be SO useful. No more getting sidetracked when trying to leave the house and ending up reading a book/making tea/hanging up my clothes/etc. while half in my pyjamas and wearing one shoe. Also, no more misplacing everything ever.

    – something like the typing break software I use now except *more awesome*. Can be turned off if I really need to but not otherwise, can deactivate certain programs instead of everything at once, and is very unobtrusive and gives me enough warning that it doesn’t come as a shock.

    – a refrigerator in which food never goes bad and that can instantly teleport in food whenever I run out. Oh yeah, and if necessary it can also instantly cook and/or prepare food. And teleport it into my room. And is remote-controllable from my computer. (The thought of never again having to so much as miss a meal because I’ve run out of spoons to buy food/prepare food/leave my room to get food, let alone go hungry for several days… )

    – speaking of which, a portable spoon-reader that tells me a) how many spoons I have left at any given time (divided into spoon categories, as I’m pretty sure I have at least four different types of spoons) and b) how many spoons of what type an action will consume. Seeing as a lot of the time, I don’t know how many spoons I have but situations can vary extremely in how many spoons they take and a lot of the time it’s dependent on things I can’t control. (In case you are wondering how the spoon-reader would work? IT CAN SEE THE FUTURE.) Oh yeah, and c) most efficient way of replenishing spoons, as that’s also something I often don’t know.

    – an organiser that reads my mind and updates my to-do list and schedule accordingly.

    – in lieu of a phone, a chat/e-mail/textphone type thing that offers thought-to-text, and automatic filling-in of social niceties plus scanning for unintentional rudeness or unintended messages. (Oh yeah, it can also interpret them for me on other people’s messages – in fact, let’s just go with a translator for neurotypical?)

    – I keep thinking and thinking and thinking about how to improve my speech therapy program, but all I come up with is “device to zap people with to get rid of their ableist attitudes about stuttering so I don’t have to do speech therapy anymore.” In lieu of that, I’d spring for a temporary fluency creator – something you can turn on when you’re going to interviews or giving a lecture or something, but can turn off when you’re chatting with your friends. It also has variable settings, e.g. you can just get rid of or diminish one specific type of block.

    Although personally, I’m holding out for the zapper.

    – I take the teleporter and add in a time machine. I’d never be late again! Time machine can also be calibrated so that no matter when I went to bed I could always get as much sleep as I needed. Also, the teleporter has a failsafe mode and will automatically teleport me out if I get too close to overload (with specific warning signals before so I’m not surprised.)

    …in fact, let’s just go with “Star Trek transporter/TARDIS hybrid.”

    – Electronic earplugs that a) are totally unnoticeable when you put them in and never ever start to hurt or feel sore and b) can do everything from “not blocking anything” to “blocking all sound” to “playing music” to “filtering out all noise except the voice of the person I’m trying to listen to.”

    – some kind of “instant shower” button.

    – an ableism detector that will tell you how much ableism the person you’re speaking to has about your disability.

    – cloaking device that will also make you intangible and inaudible – in fact, it’s more of a Not Your Problem field.

    – a robot. 😐

    I could come up with more but I’ll leave it at that for now… hmm. I can’t help but wonder how shocked!!! shocked I tell you!!! many abled people would be at our lists, seeing as there’s very little along the lines of “make my disability go away”, but mostly “something to ameliorate XYZ annoying aspect of it” and quite a bit “something for when people are being annoying about my disability.” It’s almost as if most of us feel pretty okay with the way things are. Who would ever have guessed?!?!

  22. Oh yeah, I almost forgot one of the most important ones:

    – Thingy that will automatically stop me from saying things until I know what it is I am saying, and also give some sort of warning when my opinions on a subject have been temporarily overridden by someone else’s and I need to get out of the situation and wait for them to come back before I communicate about the matter.

  23. @Kaz: But of course! If I were suddenly turned normal, all my coping strategies would suddenly become useless and I’d have to relearn everything…

  24. codeman38: If I were suddenly turned normal, all my coping strategies would suddenly become useless and I’d have to relearn everything…

    this was so accurate and hilarious that i LOLed. 🙂

  25. I want the perfect chair.

    I want a chair that can follow me, collapse down very small, provide proper soft support for all of my aching joints and includes a head rest, can change the incline of the back from upright to completely flat (and of course, the support has to be able to adjust with that, too!), holds my laptop, holds food and water, doesn’t scare my skittish service dog, assists with going standing to sitting and sitting to standing, fit in awkward locations, and while we’re at it, it’s got to look good, too.

    *sigh* Not asking for much, am I? I know I’ll eventually be in a wheelchair, and maybe if I’m lucky I’ll be able to get one that does all of the things I need, but in the meantime, the closest I’ve got to my fantasy item is the things my boyfriend carries around to keep me comfortable. Fortunately, he doesn’t mind this ‘duty’!


  26. Seriously, so much Star Trek. Besides the transporters and replicators (they recycle garbage & dirty dishes for you too!!), I really, really want a holodeck. Then I could leave my tiny room and get sunshine and do things and see beautiful places without having to interact with anyone and without needing to devote all my mental energy to making sure I had enough energy to get back… and since this is my fantasy, holodecks wouldn’t break/malfunction/get taken over by hostile beings nearly as often!

    My other wish would be for some kind of super awesome computer interface that doesn’t give me carpal tunnel. 🙁

  27. A remote control that could mute or alter the volume of whatever I desired… although Kaz’s invisible earplugs would work just as well.

  28. ive been working on a space/time continuum collapser for several years now, to no avail, so its nice to see so much support for transporters here! Maybe this isnt just a dream!
    There also seems to be a big demand here for robots and unicorns, which im frankly totes excited about!

  29. I don’t *think* it’s already been said, but forgive me if this is a repeat:

    — pain medication that is *both* effective at treating my pain *and* that does not cause health care providers and/or other people who know me to act like I’m full of lies, hyperbole, and Teh Dramaz for even daring to request *discussing* being prescribed said medication.

  30. I like this topic. A few ideas:

    -Earplugs which are actually comfortable enough for me to wear on a regular basis.
    -An adjustable weighted blanket. I’d also like a weighted blanket which was a bit longer and wider, so I can better wrap it around myself. My current one barely goes from my toes to my neck, and I’m only 5’6.5″
    -A GPS device sensitive enough to pick up where I’m going while I’m walking. I have GPS on my cellphone, but since I don’t drive, it’s of limited utility. I need help walking to point A from point B without getting lost, with very specific instructions.

    -Some kind of device which makes fluorescent lighting more tolerable. Alternatively, people could just stop using so many fluorescent lights.

    -Some kind of deveice to help me open cans and bottles.

    -Sleeping aids which don’t give me headaches.

    -Some kind of signal I could turn on which would tell people, “I can answer this, but give me a few moments to do it.” Other signals: “I’m stressed out right now, but don’t mean to be rude on purpose.”

    -A machine which could make me nutritious meals that I like quickly and easily.

    And I second the suggestion of a teleporter.
    .-= Sarah´s last blog ..Denigrating Self-Diagnosed People Means Denigrating All of Us =-.

  31. I’d like a little widget which pops up somewhere in the house (wherever I happen to be) at a certain time each day and asks “have you taken your medication?”. For bonus points, have the widget check the fridge for me and teleport the meds out to me (along with a glass of water) if it detects I haven’t.

  32. I want something like a Chumby* in every room I’m in. It should sync with all my other devices and remind me to do stuff until I’ve done it.

    I also want the self driving car mentioned above.


  33. And I just remember that the site I linked is totally inaccessible for various people. Wiki has a better explanation

    Now, that I think about it, I’d like an insurance company to pay for things that are assistive devices for me, whether or not they are classified that way.

    And a food bot.

  34. It has occurred to me that I need a Clickything that makes clicky noises only I can hear so my wife doesn’t take it away from me. Apparently it’s annoying.

  35. Ooh, definitely a holodeck and replicator and transporter from Star Trek! Also, I’d really love a painkiller that made all of my joint pain disappear instantly with no side effects, that was also non-addictive and available over the counter. And taking one pill would last for a week.

    -a modification for my roomba that would also pick up my clothes, do laundry, dust, and clean the rabbit cage
    -heated floor tiles (especially in the bedroom, kitchen, and bathroom)
    -a phone next to my bed that I could dial with my mind so that on my really bad days (when I can’t move my hands or stand) I could call in sick to work
    -Amandaw’s magic bra

  36. – a Roomba
    – real-life subtitles
    – a bed/alarm clock that will tip me out of it when the alarm goes off
    – a food machine. I think it will only need to produce three things: orange juice, yogurt, and baked potatoes with cheese and beans.

    However, all of these could be made obsolete by a time-dilation device which allows me to have a longer day than other people. When I’m sleeping, it could “shrink” time, so that things even out.

  37. An actual list this time:

    A robot I can talk to when I’m really low and feel like I’m being too much of a burden on people. It has to look somewhat artifical, otherwise there’s a good chance I won’t use it. Also, if it could transcribe everything it says on a small screen, that would be hugely useful.

    A mood/depression sensor – it would be able to tell me when I’m heading into a low period, so I can prepare accordingly.

    An automatic self-esteem boosting device – related to the sensor above, this would be useful when someone feels the need to insult me when I’m in a low period, when it’s likely to affect me worse than usual. Also, its response should be somewhat situation relivent (such as playing SexyBack when someone calls me ugly, etc – I have an odd sense of humour).

    A gizmo to find what word I’m thinking of when I can’t remember it – you know, the one right on the tip of your tongue. I call it a de-whatchamacallit-izer.

    Something that can transcribe everything. And I mean everything.

    Something to stop my ridiculous periods, because they’re not helping.

    And, many other things that other people have already come up with, but mainly Amandaw’s Magical Bra(TM).

  38. Kaz: totally second the ableism detector. Would save me a lot of unneeded stress and spoons.

    *A pill to get me up and able to work on days when depression is at it’s highest.

    *Expanding on Kaz’s idea: a device I can wear over my eyes that floats words next to people describing them in ways that tell me if I want to talk to them. Key words would include: ableist, racist, hyper-religious and likely to try to convert me, homophobic, bigot. Or: feminist, LGBTI rights activist, feminist who understand intersectionality and tries to be a good ally.

    *Something which gives me the abilty to just stop sometimes.

    *A large enough house and income that I could take my younger brother out of my parent’s house and away from my father (which is really for him, but would do wonders to my mental health (not worrying about him))
    *Hell, a house and income large enough to take a my siblings away from my father. Except my older brother. He can fend for himself and is damn well part of the problem!

    *A button I can wear on my chest that lets people know when I’m unapproachable.

    Can’t think of more, but I’m sure they’ll come to me eventually.
    .-= PharaohKatt´s last blog ..Positive Experiences with Disability Activism =-.

  39. Oh yes to holodeck, transporter, invisibility cloak, and self-driving car. Also a power that gently moves “helpful” people aside when they insist on holding doors open for me and simultaneously block the way of my chair. (I promise to only use my power for good…most of the time.) A wheelchair that widens, narrows, and switches from power to manual on command. A mighty chopper thingy that chops whatever I want to exactly the size and shape I want it because I love cooking, but unassisted chopping is a massive time sink.

  40. A chair that appears from nowhere whenever I go to sit down. Standing for too long can be hard for me, especially when I’m carrying my backpack (which usually has waaaaaay too much stuff in it). Ideally, this chair would have a pouch with some knitting in it, a water bottle, and maybe a Diet Coke or some tea.

  41. Also! A ray that freezes time, so that when I’m brain fogged I can take the time I need to finish schoolwork and other stuff without sacrificing precious sleep time.

  42. Not for me but for a friend: psychiatric service cat. If there were some way she was allowed to take her cat in to work with her and to every other stressful situation, it would be so good for her depression and anxiety.

    For me: a remote control device to use on myself, which would put me instantly in a deep sleep for eight hours then wake me up again.

    A teleporter to get me to therapy on time.

  43. Oh man, I want the instant shower button. And desperately need the universal text-to-speech. My audio processing issues are getting worse and worse lately and I am so sick of asking people to repeat things all the time. I would also like a magic button that replenishes my ability to parse text, since it’s really irritating when it runs out without warning. And a self-driving car. And the mechanized body armour. You people have good ideas. I’m hoping the blood pressure monitor I’ve already ordered can help me get a handle on keeping my dizzy spells in check, but since I’ll really have it that’s not so much fantasy. Magic earplugs and glasses that block out horrible rude triggery things people say to me (like my mother informing me that I should wear spanx. Thanks, mom!). Self-cleaning litterbox that I don’t have to deal with at all for the sole reason that I forget all the time and my babies deserve better. One of those cat filtering water fountains. Sammie’s de-whatchamacallit-izer – it’s so annoying to not be able to come up with the word! Money. Money so I could get out of this house. Magic time machine that means I can get as much sleep as I need and have it take only as long as I want – only a few minutes on the days that I need more time, and normal amount of time when I’m escaping. A teleporter so I could go where I need to and also get home when I need to, instead of having to wait for ages and drawing on coping resources that are already exhausted.

    Sorry longramblelong. Lots of good ideas! Awesome comment thread.
    .-= Shiyiya´s last blog ..Boycott Method =-.

  44. I really, really want the futuristic anti-backpain device that attaches to my back right now.

    But I was really commenting again because I forgot about dyscalculia last time.
    I want another portable translator-ish device that can help me better understand everything number-, calculation-, formula-related and whatever else is regulated by those parts of my brain so I can do better mainly with finances, maybe even not need anyone managing them for me. Who knows, if I’d had such a device in secondary school I might have gone on to study and fail at biology instead of a language study :P. (note: I do not regret one moment of studying English).

  45. I’ve just bought a Roomba! I’d been looking at a mini upright Dyson to replace my Henry (which I use maybe once every six months because hoovering HURTS so damn much) and then I thought, I bet I won’t use the Dyson any more often. Yes the Roomba is £50 more, but it’s automatic and programmable, which means I’ll actually USE it every week and have clean floors, instead of worrying about letting people into my flat because they’re so manky.

  46. I got a Roomba for Christmas a couple years ago. That thing has come in *so* handy for me, seriously… I barely even had the ‘spoons’ to get vacuuming done in my free time in the past, but now I get it done every week.

    Now if there were only a similar device for cleaning the sink and the shower! ^_^

  47. This whole post is great. Myself, I would love a little device that could get itself to lectures for me when I can’t go and send a live feed of the audio back. Or, you know, download it directly into my brain, whichever. *g*

  48. 1: A device that projects reminders and organization tools onto my eye lenses. It triggers when I’m specifically hyperfocused or really defocused and basically puts up annoying pop ups and instructions to help me find my way. All right to my own eyes, as I’m not always in front of a computer.

    2: Seconding the teleporter.

    3: Food trigger filter: Installed into my lower throat (the part past the lung branch off), it absorbs all the chemicals in my food (and the food triggers themselves, like onion bits and lactose) that set off my IBS spasms so I can actually eat the food I like again.

    4: Chore robots, for when me and my partner are both out of spoons at the same time and things are starting to pile up.
    .-= genderbitch´s last blog ..Murphy’s Law And Disability: The Week From Hell =-.

  49. I’d like a floating platform like Magneto uses in the second X-Men film, for stairs. I’d also like to be able to make doctors’ appointments via the internet, instead of on the phone. These might actually exist, but something that makes washing the floor less painful for my back, or a good long-handled implement for cleaning the shower and toilet, so I don’t have to kneel.

  50. Ooh, a couple more.

    I want a teleportation device. Travelling is hard on me, and getting there instantly…well, I’d be able to do so much more! I’d spend so much less time at home on the couch, because I could go do X with my friends or even by myself and not have to worry about what would happen if I get hurt or just get worn out while doing it.

    I want a small, lightweight device that will provide an unlimited supply of fresh, cool water. When my hands are really doing badly, I have trouble so much as holding a cup. I know I get dehydrated sometimes simply because I don’t have the wherewithal to walk into the kitchen and refill my cup or water bottle.

  51. The one I would love the most right now?

    A universal mute button. So that when complete strangers ask me rude, asinine questions about my physical health when I don’t want them to, I can hit that button and shut them off. And then go on with my day.

    The Point of View Gun would be awesome to have as well, to explain to people why those questions are so rude, without having to expose myself to the conflict that I hate and without having to exhaust myself while doing it.

    I approve of the instant shower button too. And a personal favorite: A cybernetic body that I can alter at will. One that still allows me to taste and feel and experience the wonders of life, and that I can pretty much download my consciousness into. With several terabytes of built-in music storage. Win.

  52. Oh, one I just thought of. I don’t know if it’s already been mentioned or not, too much text in the comments for me to read right now.

    A self confidence mirror. One that projects all the good things about yourself, appearance included, into your mind and you actually believe it instead of grappling with how you look like the walking (un)dead.

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