But. You said

“And, in the case of ableist words, these roots are in ableism. The reason that these words are effective insults is because of ableism. Hence, when people use them, they are reinforcing ableist culture.”

And

“If we didn’t live in an ableist society, calling someone an ableist term wouldn’t carry any strength and force. It’s the ableism behind the term that makes it strong. So you’ve got a choice: You can decide to stop using words which are hurtful, recognizing that sometimes it is really hard, or you can decide to keep using those words, recognizing that this contributes to the perpetuation of ableism.”

And now I don’t know what to think, what to do. What should I do when my friend use these words? What word should I use when I’m expressing disgust or frustration at a mistake I’ve made? Can a word ever evolve enough to move completely away from its ableist roots, and how would I know?

I think I’d actually be thrilled if my sister used “lame” instead of “gay” as her go-to “you/that sucks!” word.

I understand that this kind of activism is frustrating, but I want to challenge this statement. Why is it less bad to malign disabled people than gay people? And remember, people can be both disabled and gay.

There are other words to use as insults that do not insult someone’s identity. My favorite is “fool” becuase it’s occupational– someone can act or play the fool, it means mistaken, or to be like a court jester. It’s an identity, but not an oppressed one.

And when you are arguing with someone who won’t listen, I think sometimes the best thing to do is to back away, to remove yourself from the situation if possible, to protect your emotional safety. If you can’t get away, try changing the subject. It is hardest with family.

Well in that case, no justifications would be needed, right? Being told that my pronoun makes someone shudder is a judgement. It’s certainly not the first time i’ve heard that and worse, but i want this to be a space without that kind of stuff is all. Just offering some food for thought.

I think I’d actually be thrilled if my sister used “lame” instead of “gay” as her go-to “you/that sucks!” word.

I’m trying to wean her off homophobia… she’s the type of person who hears about white/cis/strait/etc privilege and assumes you’re accusing her of being bad.

Shiyiya – second the terminally embarrassed. See (please don’t) my foot in mouth with each post on the chatterday thread.

My sister and her really lovely friends – http://ohmonkeytrumpets.blogspot.com/2009/03/something-that-pissed-me-off.html

And it’s so damned stupid that I can’t think of anything to say back. Not that it matters if I do say something. I tried to get John and Beck to stop using “gay” as pejorative, so they switched to homosexual.

(It’s really funny how prescient this site is. Whenever a conversation comes up off the internet about ableism, without fail the next time I check FWD/Forward it’s covered here!)

Erm, more ontopic! I really really don’t get people who are all RAGH YOU CANNOT MAKE ME STOP USING THIS WORD. I do not understand the lack of empathy involved at ALL. Someone tells me something bothers them, I STOP DOING IT (or at least make a serious effort to – I’m human and all, mistakes occur). I don’t get being furious at someone calling you on being offensive. (Terminally embarrassed at having said something hurtful without thinking, yes, but actively angry, no)

I think I had a point here, but I read Kaz’s comment while I was typing and now I’m just amused at the strange wandering metaphor.

(Oh, and now I keep picking out things that are ableist in songs and trying to decide if it’s the songwriter’s prejudice or that of the character in the song. It’s driving me up the wall a bit because I like enjoying art-things uncritically but I’m really bad at turning off that bit of my brain )
.-= Shiyiya´s last blog ..Hmmmm…. =-.