Comments on: Amusing Answers to Clueless Questions

By: kavn

kavn — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 12:30:23 +0000

It depends on my mood. If I’m indifferent I’ll usually say its a congenital defect, but I’ve given other answers too.

“what happened to your hand?”

“got bored of it and left it at home.”
“cr*p, it’s fallen off again. could you help me look for it?”
“sorry, I don’t remember, I was just a foetus when it happened.”
“seems fine, what do you mean?”

By: rainbow

rainbow — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 07:35:16 +0000

for me it, it really depends on the age of the asker. if it’s a child, i tell them. if it’s an adult, i generally give them my best “what, were you born in a barn that you think a question like that is ever socially acceptable?” look and don’t answer otherwise.

By: Kaitlyn

Kaitlyn — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 21:01:36 +0000

When my skin’s inflamed, I pull the same “OMG, what’s going on?! Thank you kind person for alerting me, I never would have known.”

Some of these – any physical othering – is also fun to do when someone points out you’re fat. Grab the offending part and go, “That wasn’t there an hour ago!”

By: Emily

Emily — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 17:22:08 +0000

I’ve never considered sass, I’m usually to busy being uncomfortable. Next time I’ll put on a look of slow horror as I raise my hand to my face…”what happened to by eye….? What do you mean…?”

By: sundiszno

sundiszno — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 15:08:16 +0000

Wow, I just love these–Thank you!!

Another neat one I heard (or read?) years ago, but still haven’t worked up the courage to use is, “I asked too many ridiculous questions and my leg fell off.” [Adjust as needed...]

I’m comment-shy and haven’t posted before, but I am so in love with this site. Thank you all for the insightful, funny, amazing writing. You’ve improved my day many times!

By: Sammie

Sammie — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 10:45:24 +0000

I have got to start getting more creative with my responses. The only semi-decent one I’ve ever come up with was when a guy (who already knew about my hearing problems) suddenly came up to me one day saying “Hey, I shouted your name and everything – why didn’t you stop?” Not having noticed him doing this, the only reply I could come up with was “I was too busy ignoring you.”

(I told you I need to be more creative with these things.)

By: Anji

Anji — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 10:07:18 +0000

I never seem to have the ovaries to bring out a retort like these. My answers are usually pretty boring; “What’s wrong with you?” “I have X”. Feel like I’m letting the side down now!

By: Matthew Smith

Matthew Smith — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 09:51:18 +0000

I found this list of "ten witty comebacks to some common sayings" on the WildKat forum a while back. I think she got it from Apparelyzed, but I couldn't find the original link.

By: 99

99 — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 07:45:34 +0000

‘Do you have sex?’ Wow.
Sigh.

The first few times I was asked these sorts of questions (admittedly being asked about my sex life is yet to be encountered…), I was so flabbergasted at their rudeness I often was too flummoxed to answer.

Now I am a fan of asking their own question back at them:
eg
Them: What’s wrong with you?
Me: What’s wrong with YOU?

By: Kaitlyn

Kaitlyn — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 05:33:21 +0000

My favorite was telling this “gothic” guy that my thyroid surgery scar was a tattoo. He bought it, but I couldn’t string him along, so I relented and told him the truth.

Usually, when people ask if I’m okay, I say no. (If I’m not OK.)

When they ask if something is wrong, I say yes.

These are amusing (to me), because – unless they’re my friends – they don’t really want to know.