Comments on: Limits

By: Jen Strange

Jen Strange — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 18:53:45 +0000

THANK YOU for this!!! my son is autistic, but to me he’s just my quirky kid. I don’t see him as tragic or any less of a person, although so many other people do. He experiences the world differently, big time – and I’ve noticed the only time we really have problems with his “behavior” is when we’re out and about and people are expecting him to conform to THEIR reality. At home he’s a delight and just a fun, silly kid.

By: Tlönista

Tlönista — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 23:20:14 +0000

Yes! This reminds me of Ballastexistenz’s “In My Language” video where she talks about how autistic people are faulted if they don’t communicate in neurotypical people’s language, but not vice versa. And everything amandaw has said about how “normalcy” has its down sides, too.

Don’t invalidate the way I experience the world!

By: Kaitlyn

Kaitlyn — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 20:13:41 +0000

KatieT – “And on the flip side of the coin, why don’t you respect my limitations? When I say I am not able to do something on that particular day please believe me. And when I say the next day that I am able to do it, please respect that.”

And don’t assume I was “faking it” on the bad day. Or that I’m “cured.”

I struggle with this internally. Wednesday through Sunday was hell for me. Monday was kinda bad, really bad in the evening. Today? Some twinges. So now I’m beating myself up for coming home, for not going to class. Even though I’m 99.9% sure that if I were on campus and went to class, I’d regret it. It’s that .1% that’s making me doubt myself, making me cry.

To follow up on what I said – I know my body, though I don’t always know what I can do until I tried it. (Like I didn’t know it hurt *that bad* until I got off the bed.) I also may know my body, know some of my limitations, but I don’t know what’s medically wrong. There’s still no damn diagnosis for the pain that has been dogging me for almost 4 years now. I’m not a doctor. I’ve asked for a new body, but to no avail. If I could do it with my barbies, why can’t it happen in real life? (Probably for the same reason that we don’t rip our heads off and put them back on or nibble on people’s feet. But still.)
.-= Kaitlyn´s last blog ..Living at home does not make you a bum, Judge Judy. =-.

By: KatieT

KatieT — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 03:56:29 +0000

And on the flip side of the coin, why don’t you respect my limitations? When I say I am not able to do something on that particular day please believe me. And when I say the next day that I am able to do it, please respect that.

I think Kaitlyn describes it well with the word “paternalism”.

The bottom line is our experiences are our experiences and we are the experts on our own lives and abilities. Everyone has limitations, ours are just framed in a way that society calls “disability”.
.-= KatieT´s last blog ..Just Saying =-.

By: Kaitlyn

Kaitlyn — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 23:11:14 +0000

Once you admit that you are disabled, you give up your agency for most people.

So you can’t possibly know what you can do, you’re just a child with no feelings.

Of course, you run into it all the time. With the kidney stone announcement, I have been told twice (once in CAPS!!!) to drink water. I know my body, I know what kidney stones do. There’s advice and then there’s paternalism.
.-= Kaitlyn´s last blog ..It’s so nice when one pic sums up your day =-.

By: meloukhia

meloukhia — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 21:22:00 +0000

Why is it that people often feel the need to dictate my limits to me? As though I do not know my own full well? My body will break your narrative and eat it for breakfast with a slice of sangfroid on top. This has always deeply intrigued and frustrated me, Super Crip or not. .-= meloukhia´s last blog ..Day of the Peacocks =-.