Daily Archives: 4 November, 2009

Guest Post: To Whom It May Concern

Avendya is a college student with a chronic illness.

To Whom It May Concern:

My life is not a fucking tragedy.

No, really. Yes, I’ve fought with GlaxoSmithKline today, and I’m not sure when I’ll get a medication I badly need. Yes, my knee keeps giving out, and I am barely able to keep up the stairs to my room. Yes, I’ve broken so many times in the last week I’ve last count. No, I’m not sure that I’m really well enough to manage my workload. But you know what? I’m sitting in a computer lab with my best friend, listening to trashy German pop music, and Nadia made me brownies.

These are the stories I want to hear about: not just the tragedy of suffering, not just pity and playing on able-bodied people’s fears, but my life – our lives. I want to see a fictional character who has mobility issues who isn’t a tragic figure, but is clever and beautiful and could probably kick your ass without breaking a sweat. I want to see a story where the love interest isn’t a nice (white) girl, but a woman who’s gone through hell, and is stronger for it. I want to hear stories of disabled men and women succeeding – and not “in spite of” their disability.

I choose to define my life on my terms – not just the bad days, the panic attacks, the times when no pain medication I try even cuts into the pain, but the days where I say “screw it” and explore cities on my own, take in the breeze off the Bay, buy more books than I should, and listen to Imogen Heap as loud as my iPod will go. I may have not chosen my illness, but I damn well chose the rest of my life. I don’t much care if it isn’t what you were expecting from a disabled person – this is my life, my future, and I am not your fucking cliche.

I want to see, hear, read about people like me, living their lives on their own terms. We’re not martyrs and we’re not saints – we are people. More than that, we are – we exist, and no matter how many times our needs are disregarded, our stories are erased, we refuse to let you define us.

Advocacy in Flawed Systems: Using Shackling Language to Help a PWD?

In my professional life, I’m an advocate at a non-profit agency that provides free legal services to low-income folks. I work primarily in the area of public benefits, which means I’ve done a lot of work with the program from the Social Security Administration (SSA) to assist low-income folks with permanent disabilities: Supplemental Security Income (SSI).  When I read Lauredhel’s post about the language of shackling and the problem with terms like “wheelchair bound,” it reminded me of the type of problem advocates and people with disabilities encounter in navigating the SSI application process.

Some quick background on SSI — it’s a program from the Social Security Administration, but does not require past work history or employment where the individual was paying into the Social Security system. Those programs that do depend on past work history and contributions to Social Security are termed insurance programs, where a person who becomes disabled or turns 65 can collect disability or retirement insurance based on past contributions (premiums) paid to SSA. Those insurance programs are available to anyone who has paid in, regardless of income or resources — Donald Trump and Bill Gates will both collect retirement insurance starting at age 65.

SSI, on the other hand, is considered a “welfare” program, because it is based on the income and resources of the applicant and doesn’t depend on past contributions to SSA. A person has to be very low-income in order to qualify for SSI and there are strict limits on the resources a person can have, including property, bank accounts, or other assets. If a person qualifies for SSI, they receive a maximum Federal grant of $674 a month. Some states supplement that grant – in California, the maximum SSI grant is $850 a month.

Advocacy usually comes into play in determining whether or not an individual claimant is sufficiently disabled to qualify for SSI benefits. In order to qualify, an individual must have a physical or mental impairment that prevents them from engaging in substantial employment for a period of 12 months or more. When an individual applies, they turn in medical records, forms and statements from their doctors, and forms about their work activities and daily activities and general impairments. SSA then considers and often decides that the applicant is not disabled, requiring the person to go to an administrative hearing with an Administrative Law Judge (ALJ) to determine whether or not the person is disabled.

I represent people in this process and at these hearings, where my client’s goal is to convince the ALJ that they have a disability that prevents them from working and therefore should get SSI benefits. For many of my clients, SSI money is their only possibility for ongoing income that would allow them to keep their apartments, buy food, pay for medications, and otherwise survive. This means that convincing the ALJ that they are sufficiently disabled is of paramount importance to the clients.

And here’s where the dilemma arises. When evaluating clients, ALJs are not interested in nuance. They want to see a claimant whose disability limits or impairs their functioning so significantly that its a foregone conclusion that person will never be employed again. Any functional abilities a claimant has – regularly visiting with friends from church, doing their own grocery shopping or food preparation, ability to use public transportation – makes it more likely that the claimant will be found not disabled, so all of those abilities have to be excluded from the discussion or explained away as insignificant abilities. An ideal claimant would be someone in a coma.

This means that when I am advocating for an individual client, I need to ignore any and all functional abilities the person has while highlighting and emphasizing each and every functional limitation. I also need to show that this person is so affected by their disability that they are totally incapable of working. And it is when I am framing these arguments and drafting these briefs that I feel very uncomfortable. I find myself writing paragraphs like this:

Ms. R  is a 56 year old female who suffers from significant and severe physical and mental disabilities, including depression, anxiety, chronic back pain and headaches, and diabetes. She has lost interest in all activities, is so forgetful that she cannot leave the house for fear she will not be able to find her way back, and feels so useless and such a burden to her family that she thinks constantly of death and dying.

All of those things were true about Ms. R. But she also told great stories about how she used to hike in the Sierra Nevada Mountains and taught us how to make Cuban coffee and was an amazing singer. She was a great mother to her adult son, who loved her beyond measure and looked at her with adoration while she told us stories. But none of those characteristics were relevant to the SSI determination and if they’d been included in the brief, the ALJ would have been less likely to approve her application.

So when I’m writing a brief, I find myself playing to those stereotypes of restriction and limitation in order to fit into the ALJs pre-conceptions of what a person with a disability looks and acts like. I have no doubt I’ve used the term “confined to a wheelchair” in a brief. I wouldn’t be surprised if I’d described a claimant as “totally dependent on outside assistance for even basic functioning.” And I’m horribly conflicted every time – I’m advancing my client’s immediate goal of obtaining benefits that will allow them to stay housed and fed, but I’m perpetuating a negative stereotype of people with disabilities and reinforcing the flawed perspectives of the ALJs.

Because my ethical obligation to my client requires me to zealously pursue their goals of obtaining benefits, I’ll swallow my concerns and write a brief that makes them look as pathetic and incapable and needy as I possibly can. But this tension between serving the needs of individual clients while reinforcing a larger system of thinking about people with disabilities this way is a difficult one.

[Note: like the rest of my policy posts, this is entirely US-centric. This description of SSI regulations and requirements is not intended to be a guide for applicants, just a broad overview for purposes of this discussion. Do not rely on this information in seeking benefits.]

Recommended Reading for November 4

Disability and Loss

If you are born differently abled, the state of your body is absolutely normal to you but if you come to this identity after being fully abled, it is a loss. I think that it is important to acknowledge this for exactly what it is. I have had doctors tell me that this is not healthy or normal. I have been encouraged to medicate myself into a false state of happiness. Being sad makes people uncomfortable and to own this sadness as completely as I do, even more so.

The woman that I was four years ago is gone forever. The woman that I thought that I would become ten years from now will never appear. This is a loss and it is traumatic. I have only lost one person in this life who was close to me and dealing with this disabled identity is very much the same sort of feeling. It is natural to mourn and this does not mean that you do not accept or love your new identity; it means that the person you were before was also of value.

Torchwood 2×11: Adrift

Do not start with ‘but she’s not mad, she’s autistic’. This is not the moment for comparing isms and/or deciding that neurological disabilities deserve more or less stigma than psychiatric ones. For the moment, please, let’s lump them all in the same category, under ‘things causing one to be locked in a loony bin so that no one has to see us’.

This episode disrespects people like Amanda. Do not argue that it’s different because this is a special *space* madness that doesn’t follow the normal rules of psychiatry or neurology. It’s not, it’s playing on the same tropes human beings have been playing with since madness was *invented*. They made it a special space madness so they had an excuse to drag out those tropes and wallow in them without conflicting with contemporary knowledge of the realities of mental illness, post-traumatic stress, etc.

With this Steam-Powered Prosthetic Arm, I Could Be As Strong as… A Normal Person [Note: This post has some problematic content, such as using the term “wheelchair bound”, but overall I think it’s interesting and worth reading.]

Steampunk, as we all are aware, draws its inspiration from the Victorian era, which, for all its accomplishments, wasn’t very good to people with disabilities. Halifax, where I live, has a few Heritage Houses, many of which were built during the era, and it doesn’t take much to see that most of them are wheelchair-inaccessible. By and large, disability issues fall off the steampunk radar. That doesn’t mean there aren’t any steampunks with disabilities. Out of curiousity, I put out feelers on Brass Goggles.

In fact, there are quite a few, and disabilities don’t really stop anybdy — Mark F. has been living with chronic muscle and join pain for 30 years (plus osteoarthritis; we should note that for many, it’s never just one illness, but a whole clusterfuck of problems which exacerbate each other), and yet has managed to refurbish an entire work cubicle, among other projects. Many other steampunks with disabilities also involve themselves with the physical side of steampunk: DIY, costuming, conventioneering.

Linkblurt: We are assaulted

*WARNINGS apply to this post – descriptions of assault and abuse of people with disabilities, including sexual abuse*

In the news:

Alan Johnson ‘stops the clock’ on Gary McKinnon’s extradition proceedings

In an eleventh-hour intervention, Alan Johnson told MPs that he had “stopped the clock” on proceedings to give Mr McKinnon’s lawyers time to consider medical reports and make legal representations.

Mr McKinnon, 43, from Wood Green, North London, suffers from Asperger’s syndrome, a form of autism. He says that his hacking of Pentagon computers was nothing more than him searching for reports of UFO sightings.

Feel free to send me anything you think I’d like to look at to anna@disabledfeminists.com

Getting It Wrong: Rate Your Students and Ableism

[Possible trigger warning for upsetting and ableist language]

As some of you may know, I am a graduate student getting my Master’s Degree in Women and Gender Studies. I currently have vague career aspirations of getting my PhD or at least remaining in academia in some capacity; my academic interests primarily have to do with feminist disability theory and the body.

I was an undergrad when I discovered Rate Your Students, a blog for college professors and TAs to rant, with anonymity, about the wonderful world of academia–including its apparent hordes of clueless undergrads. I can’t quite remember how I stumbled upon it, but I found it very refreshing. I was probably what the RYS denizens would call a “special snowflake”, or “snowflake” for short–that is, an overeager student who is convinced of zie’s own specialness (however, my low self-esteem may negate such a categorization)–but I found the site a welcome break from dealing with fellow undergrads at my school, many of whom, I felt, fit the “snowflake” categorization perfectly.

Given my disability and resulting limited energy, during this time I was  privately contemptuous of those whom I percieved to be slacking and getting away with it, particularly when I was assigned to work with them on group projects or in discussion cohorts. Inevitably, I would be the one who led the group in discussion–even when I had been the only one to have done the reading–or the one who would do most of the “group” project planning and resulting work. I do not say this to toot my own horn; this information is meant to be context for the reasons that I started reading RYS in the first place.

After this week’s posts on accommodation(s) for students with disabilities, however, I am seriously rethinking my earlier enthusiasm for the site. One professor sent a query to the other readers of the site:

How do you teach a student…who clearly has severe intellectual developmental issues? How do you make sure the other students aren’t held back? What if your course is a small seminar course, not a large course? You have to spend a lot of one-on-one time with one at the expense of several. Why doesn’t the university provide resources for you and this student?

Am I bad teacher for not knowing how to deal with this? Or for not wanting to?

The responses are a motley bunch (the [+] markers denote different responses from different folks), ranging from the awesome to the somewhat reasonable to the awful:

Anyway, I don’t think too much of students who come to me with a letter demanding time-and-a-half on tests. Nor do I pity the poor fucktards when I think of their asking a future boss for time-and-a-half on a project. There are some students who are truly disabled, and truly need accommodations. But ADD is a sad joke. It puts us at the beck and call of every spoiled tool whose parents can find a quack to label the kid as ADD.

I am an academic. I am also a person with disabilities. I know, furthermore, that “difficult” students exist, and in some cases, universities do not provide clear policies for faculty when dealing with students with disabilities. Professors, however, are not usually assigned to be the disability police, and with good reason (see above). From the glut of postings on this topic, the message that I am getting–as a person with multiple disabilities, both physical and other–is that I do not belong in the academy. People with severe emotional or mental health issues, apparently, do not belong in the academy because they freak out the “normal” folks. Furthermore, if I choose to disclose my disability to faculty, I may be subject to disbelief and doubt, due to their past experiences with disabled students. Hell, someone might even rant about me on RYS if I piss them off enough!

I respect the fact that RYS is a site for professors to anonymously vent; all of us need those spaces. Some of us, however, are both hopeful professors and people with disabilities.  Privileged displays of ableism like the above are asking some of us to side against our own, which many of us cannot do.